Ordinary Evil
On taking ordinary evil and spiritualising it
I think we have a problem. As a world, and especially as a country. I know—we have many problems.
This one is the problem of taking ordinary things out of context.
I've had a problem with it since childhood. Sometimes it's taking an ordinary good thing and centering it around religion. But here, I will talk about the negative part. Taking an ordinary, intentional evil and spiritualising it.
I would call myself a quite spiritual person, though I'm not religious. I believe the world is spiritual. There are reasons for belief, and I choose to express my spirituality in my own way.
But I know a lot of people who are religious and mistake that for spiritual maturity.
There was a video I came across that prompted this entire thought process. A church. A woman brought her husband to the “wonderful” pastor for deliverance.
Her problem? She had caught him multiple times sexually abusing their child. A baby.
At the time she caught him, she said she was angry and confused. She asked him to stop. But she didn't know what to do—she wouldn't want to take him to the authorities. How she was raised taught her that her husband is superior to her.
At the same time, she was deeply uncomfortable. She knew it was not normal. That was why she came to the pastor for help.
I was stunned when the first words out of the pastor's mouth were: “I want to advise the women in the house—”
He said not every adult man is psychologically sound enough to bathe a small baby girl.
In his words: “He's not into small children. He's curious. He was doing biology.”
He told the woman it was a spirit of curiosity. And he cast it out.
I was disgusted. But I was not in the least surprised. I don't know if I was more shocked by the sheer stupidity or the lack of reaction from the crowd. But I digress.
We see this play out all the time. A person is found guilty of a heinous crime. And instead of addressing the very real issue, they are taken to a religious gathering. The overspiritualisation of “demons” is used to humanise the criminal.
Somehow, the criminal becomes the victim. A prey of some evil spirit. Coddled.
The real victim suffers the real consequences.
The issue in my most recent article brought me back to that video.
I called one of my aunts to talk about my baby cousin being molested by her father. I love my aunt very much. But I was genuinely disappointed at her take.
She said my cousin made herself available to be used. She said the child condoned the abuse. She tried to use me as an example—said I wouldn't let that kind of thing happen. I don't know if that was supposed to be a compliment. It was very off-putting.
She said she had minimised contact with my other aunt—the one handling the matter more angrily and radically. Because with her level of wisdom in her faith, she wouldn't handle it that way.
She said my aunt called the molester—their brother—a pedophile. And she didn't think he was. Because he just loved to have sex, and when the spirit came over him, he would sleep with anyone in a skirt.
Something about not blaming him. He was sorry. He admitted his wrong. Something about not casting the first stone because Jesus said so. Everyone has secrets. Blah blah blah.
She said both were sexual crimes—the Bible story and now.
I explained to her that you cannot compare adultery—sex between two consenting adults—to raping a minor who is your own child. The comparison can never be the same thing.
Sex is not an oopsie. It was intentional. Well thought out. The man is not a baby, for goodness sake.
I am pretty sure he would have been burned alive by now if the person he molested was a boy. Not because he molested a child—but because it was not the preferred gender. Homophobia is stronger than the hate for rape.
I was angry. I tried my best not to lose my shit. Because as she said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion on this case.
I just told her that I prayed this kind of harm would never come to her own children.
Because I think it's a bit easier to take the high road when you've never been pushed into the dirt.
To say I've been angry is an understatement.
We as a people need to stop overspiritualising crimes to soften the face of the criminal. We need to start treating things as they are.
The man from the video was not curious. He is a child molester. A pedophile.
The father of my cousin is not an innocent man who had an urge that happened to come on when his daughter was near. He is a pedophile without self-control. He needs to be treated as such.
This also translates to your personal lives and suffering. I don't know if it makes people feel better that the cause of their misery is some demon—not a poor system or terrible governance.
But we need to start tackling real problems as such. Hold people accountable for their wrongdoings. It's not spiritual, it's just wrong.
I'm grateful for everyone who reached out to offer help, and the ones who shared my post to get it to people who can help too.
I'll send a proper update as soon as I can.
How the heck can a child "make herself too available" for her father??!
Jesus. My heart is just broken even more.
I'm so sorry Amora. I hope your cousin gets justice